Lost in the Woods

When you think you are lost and don’t know where to go, keep going because you never know what you will find.

This is what I was telling myself as I was running along the paths on the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. If you don’t know about this place you need to look it up. There are 8,000 acres of land with which now has 2 hotels, a small village of shops and restaurants, a farm, horses, and a mansion called the Biltmore house. This home was completed on Christmas Eve in 1895 after 6 years of construction. This home has 100 rooms, 43 bathrooms, and 6 floors! HUGE! And the man who built it was named George Vanderbilt in which he and his wife and their daughter lived in this massive place. Now this land is a national forest and the home is a high demand for tourists.

I woke up one morning while staying at the Inn on this Estate and decided to go for a run to see what I would find. It was raining and as I was passing the front desk the concierge called out, “Have fun and try to stay dry.” I turned back to him with a huge smile on my face and said, “I will get wet, but I’m ok with that!” And he smiled back and said he would have a water ready for me when I return. So sweet!

I headed out on the estate. I didn’t truly know where I was going or where I would end up, but I had a plan to run about 4 miles along the river, I just had to figure out how to get there. I found a road that went right past the majestic horses and in the distance saw this road paralleled the river so I headed there. I ran along on a muddy path next to a river as rain was falling. I continued until this muddy trail turned into a paved path and continued on. I followed the path and it crossed the road and then turned into another dirt trail. There were signs for hiking so I decided to follow them. I got to a point while I was running I realized I didn’t see the signs anymore. I was still on some sort of path, though it was covered with leaves. Maybe it was a maintenance path or horse trail, I wasn’t quite sure. I continued on and got to the point I had no idea where I was. It was raining and fog was rolling in, and no person in sight. I was in the middle of the trees, no clue where I was until I looked up to my right and there through the trees was the Biltmore House. I laughed to myself at first because I couldn’t believe how far I had actually ran. Way past the 4 mile mark I set out to do.

In that moment I felt a sense of comfort and peace and joy! I felt Jesus was with me. Tears came to my eyes and I couldn’t stop smiling. I wasn’t really lost after all! The path wasn’t distinct, and yet I kept taking step after step. I kept in mind to keep going because I didn’t know what I would find. And in turn I ended up seeing a side of this mansion the general public doesn’t see. It was incredible!

I thought about this moment and related it to life. We may not know what we are doing or where we will end up, but if we trust God and keep going we will see something spectacular. And sometimes the path doesn’t look like much of a path at all, but if we put our fears to the side and keep our curiosity in front great things will happen and God will show up!

Keep going!

(the trail looked a bit like this except less leaves on the trees and some fog)

(A portion of the front of the Biltmore House)

RESOLUTIONS!???

How are those New Year resolutions working out for you?  I know.. on January 1st you had the best of intentions to keep them.  Same here!!!

Are you hearing people say “I can’t believe it’s the year 2018 already.”  Well, I heard the year 2020 mentioned on TV the other day and I thought…that’s way off.  No it’s not!!!  Space movies in the 70’s and 80’s hovered around that year.  Ha!  That’s only two years away, and you know how fast those years go!!!

Now, let’s get down to the issue of broken new year resolutions.  We all do it!  Maybe we don’t speak it, but if you’re honest you’ll admit that the “clean slate” of a new year is appealing.  “If I can just change one or two things about myself this year, I’ll be happy.”

I looked up resolution in the dictionary and there are six definitions.  The first one is: ‘the act of resolving or reducing to a simpler form.’  Ha! That’s one of my year after year resolutions…to reduce to a simpler form by 20 pounds!!!

The next definition I am sharing with you comes under the word resolve which has ten meanings.  The ninth one is: ‘to make up ones mind; arrive at a decision, or a fixed determination.’

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Now we’re getting to the resolve that really matters for eternity.  When you come to faith in Christ, you make a decision to do so.  As you grow in your knowledge of God and His Son by reading His Word, you find that His ways are past finding out.  You find that since you live in a sinful world that life is not always easy.  There are times when you feel like giving up.

That’s when the word resolution has spiritual meaning.  If you have committed your life to Christ, then it’s your choice, your resolution or fixed determination to never forsake Him, no matter what.  So I implore you to keep on, keeping on with Christ.  That’s the best resolution you can make day after day, year after year.

Romans 8:35,37-39  “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

song….”I have decided to follow Jesus… no turning back, no turning back.//The world behind me, the cross before me….no turning back, no turning back.// Though none go with me, I still will follow….no turning back, no turning back.”   

“Mommy, this little boy likes me!”

(We recently found a few hidden pages written by our mom & grandma. This one is especially poignant today, January 15th, the birthday of both Martin Luther King, Jr and Gladys I. Johnson. Not only did they share a birthday, but they shared God’s heart for teaching our children love and not hate. We hope you will enjoy these beautiful words.)

MOMMY, THIS LITTLE BOY LIKES ME

The vacant house across the street had been rented, and of course the neighborhood children (and their mothers) waited anxiously to see the new neighbors. Would there be a boy to play with? Would he have the two necessary ingredients for friendship – a bike and a dog? And since our neighborhood is bereft of girls, the boys all felt it would be a calamity if “one of those things” moved in.

So, in typical boy fashion, they banished such a thought from their minds. This family would have boys to play with, and to add to the football squad in the fall, and the baseball team in spring.

At last the movers’ truck pulled up and the men began unloading furnishings. But no sign of a boy. Odd, wasn’t it? thought the neighbors. If there were children, surely they would be under foot, hindering instead of helping, laughing merrily as they rediscovered things mother had hidden in packing.

A black car had been bustling back and forth over the streets, loading and unloading its cargo. The driver, obviously the woman of the house, stopping to tell the workmen where to put the furniture.

When all the furnishings were in, the black car came back, and from the front seat hobbled a small waif of a boy, walking with an effort on crutches. The few neighborhood children who had not given up their vigil, stared hard and turned away in disgust. This poor little fellow could not play football. He could never add the member needed for the baseball nine.

As the days passed, little Tommy was never included in the play of the other boys. When he got into the car that drove him to school in the mornings, passing children who would stop and stare. He was the unusual, not understood. Tommy often cried when, attracted by his toys, a small boy would enter his yard to play, only to stand and stare, not knowing quite how to cope with the thought of playing with a boy who walked with crutches. I noticed that the children, while not meaning to offend, would say cutting things – as children often do. As a result, Tommy would put up his own defense of bitterness and meanness.

One warm day, little Tommy came across the street to play with my son, and I hoped for Tommy’s sake they would be friends. My own son, while ordinarily no angel, took him in, if for no other reason than the fact that his other friends were scarce that day. But it delighted Tommy. When his mother came to get him later in the day, Tommy looked up with a smile of delight and said, “Mommy, this little boy likes me!”

In that moment I thought of all the little children in our world who suffer such injustice at the hands of others who do not understand why they seem so different. Would it not be a better world if each mother taught her children the meaning and beauty of each individual, and the willingness to accept the one who is different?

There is a little bigotry and racial hatred in all of us. It is learned, not birthed. We must teach our children that crippling the spirit is much worse than crippling the body.

written by: Gladys I. Johnson

Unpack Your Baggage

We’ve just finished the first week of the new year. I love this time of year – it is filled with new promises, new beginnings, and new hope. We take great pains in promising ourselves that this year will be different. We start new diets & exercise plans, we start new projects, we clean out our closets and our cabinets and discard things that weigh us down.

I am doing these things, too – but today’s sermon at my church reminded me that Paul says the ONE THING we must be certain to do in order to move forward in life, is to forget what is behind us.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

What does that look like? In order to fully grab on to God and walk into his favor and grace in the new year, we must leave behind those things that will hold us back. If we are unhealthily still focused on your past, you cannot move forward.

So, if you are intending to really make strides in your life this year – I’d like to share with your the list my pastor, Albert Tate, gave us on Sunday of things you must unpack from 2017. As he opened a suitcase on the stage and unpacked each t-shirt with these words on it, he shared why hanging on to these things will keep you from experiencing the fullness of God in the new year…

ANGER and UNFORGIVENESS

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Louis B. Smedes

HURTS

“Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.” Rick Warren

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Godly community is powerful. Find friends that want to know, “how’s your soul doing?” and ditch the friends who push you into feeding your flesh.

WORRY and FEAR

“Put away worry and fear and watch God be God. Every day, give the day to God and worship him at every step. Don’t walk in worry and fear – walk in worship and faith.” Albert Tate

BAD HABITS

Two words: STOP IT.

Unpack Your Baggage from last year. Photo: Becky White

PRIDE and SELFISHNESS

Leave behind your failures, yes – but we also must leave behind our successes. If we assume we are the source of our success, we won’t be able to let God bring us to new things in the new year.

Once you’ve unpacked and made a commitment to yourself and to God to leave behind the things that will hold you back in the coming year – you must also remember to re-pack your bag to push ahead on the journey ahead. Fill it with

CONFESSION

Confessing the broken areas of your life takes away any power it has to hold you back. You are meant to soar!

GRACE GRACE

Grace comes in a double portion – always. No one is too far from God to receive his grace, and once you have received that grace it is your duty to freely give it to others.

ACCOUNTABILITY

You cannot do this life alone. Who knows what you struggle with? Have someone you can call for prayer and positive affirmation that you can do this!

Christ’s resurrection represents the NEW thing God wants to do for you in this NEW YEAR. You will never experience the new thing God wants you to do without first letting go of the old things.

Don’t be stuck.

Don’t be stagnant.

Make the choice to unpack those bags and move forward for God’s glory!

(Author’s note: This is a brief recap of a sermon from 1/7/18 at Fellowship Monrovia. No one tells the gospel story quite like Albert Tate – to enjoy the whole sermon, you can watch on Facebook by clicking here, or on the church website here.)

 

 

 

 

Reflection

As I sat and reflected on 2017, there was one common theme. I went all the way back to the beginning of the year. I found myself writing down every significant moment that happened. I was writing out details I didn’t want to revisit. I was writing out moments that were hard for me. But as I was writing I realized why God was having me do it. He wanted to show me where He was through it all. As I was writing I saw God in the middle of it. He was with me the whole time. This was the theme. Over and over again throughout the year God would tell me He would never leave me. And now reflecting back I see that to be true.

God is faithful and true to His word. If you are unsure if God was in the hard times maybe you need to sit and write them out as hard as it may be. Allow yourself to see where God was in the midst of it all. It may surprise you. And you will find healing in revisiting those moments and seeing Jesus. It was for me. Now I can let it all go and leave it in 2017. I am a new creation. I am transformed by the blood and love of Jesus. And I am stronger than ever before!

We look at new years as a fresh start. I can see the significance, but something God reminded me as I reflected was that life is a continued process. We will forever be growing and changing if we choose to.

Do you want to change? Do you want to continue in this growing process of life with your Savior and Father in Heaven?

Take what you have gained and learned from 2017, continue and increase it in 2018.

With God the impossible is possible. He has given you promises that have not happened yet. Let me tell you, he will follow through. They will happen. Some of them in this lifetime and others in the lifetime of generations to come. I think of Abraham and how God showed him the stars and told him he would be the father to many nations. Yet Abraham is not alive to see it all happen.

Don’t lose hope. And certainly do not give up on God. He is with you. Go into this next year with a renewed sense of HOPE. God your father in heaven is with you and sees you. He is in the pain, the struggle, the heartache. He is in the joyful moments, and the celebrations.

He loves you very much!

Make 2018 a year with God! This is going to be your best year yet!

May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us nor forsake us. 1 Kings 8:57

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

TRUST

TRUST: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. synonyms: confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence; reliance

Between the daily headlines and personal disappointments of 2017, I many times find myself lacking trust. God clearly tells us that He is the only one we can fully trust – the only one who will never let us down. However, as humans, it is not only inevitable, but understandable to put our trust in other things. Children trust the adults in their lives with everything. We trust our family members to act in our best interest. We trust friends to keep our confidence. We expect the people close to us to be honest and supportive. We trust that our finances will remain stable. We trust that we will remain healthy.

The older I get, the more I realize that these hopes are dashed much more often than I expected them to be. It disheartens me to see too much news. The acts of hatred and violence of all kinds run rampant. I also realize the ups and downs of finances, health, and relationships.

Without consistent communication with God through prayer and by reading His Word, it is easy to continue down the path of disheartenment and become distrustful of God Himself. It is sometimes easy to hold Him accountable for the disappointment we feel in the people He created in His image, and the circumstances that are out of our control.

Here we are at Christmastime again, and though the joy of the meaning of this season supersedes the chaos I see in every corner of earth, those headlines do take hold of me sometimes. Those personal disappointments in people that I thought I could trust, that I thought would be in my corner for life, loom in my heart and my mind. They somehow become magnified at this time of the year.

My Grandmother used to say two words to me (and to many others) at times of despair and difficulty…at times when there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel…

BUT GOD….

No matter what we see, hear and feel…. BUT GOD….

God is here. He is in control. He holds EVERYTHING in His capable and perfect hands.

So, when the world looks bleak, and when we feel personal pain and despair and begin to lose our faith in goodness, let us remember: BUT GOD is here.

Some encouragement today. A Merry Christmas and a peaceful and joyful 2018! Let us push on in faith and trust in our Heavenly Father.

Joshua 1:9  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Psalm 9:10  “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Proverbs 3:5,6  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Psalm 56:3  “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Psalm 20:7  “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.”

Psalm 13:5  “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.”

This Keeps Me Going

One morning I woke up thinking about Grandma. She had written me a note months prior to her passing and it’s something I hold close to my heart. I recently placed it on my desk so it’s something I see all the time now. It reads,

Dearest Nikki:

It was good to be with you yesterday – I enjoyed it! Just want you to know how very dear you are to me. I pray for you. I know God has a wonderful plan for your life. You are precious in His sight. God bless you always.

Love,

Grandma

I began thinking about the times I would drive up from college in San Diego to visit the family and I would head straight to my grandparent’s house. Sometimes I would even surprise them and what a joyous surprise that was each time! I loved sitting with them talking. I would ask them to tell me stories from their childhood and earlier years. I loved it!

Those are times I wish I could get back. After they both passed away, I would drive up from San Diego and become sad because I could no longer drive over to their house to surprise them. They were both very special to me and I enjoyed our precious, numbered time on earth together. I look forward to the day we are joyously reunited in the presence of God. What a spectacular day that will be. I looked forward to hugging both of them.

I was also thinking about what God has asked me to do. He is calling me to write a book. This is something Grandma talked about doing, started, but never finished. I am writing this book for her, with her in mind. I am doing this for both her and God. And when I think about that, it keeps me going in this process. Writing a book is no easy task and it scares me. But knowing I am doing this for Grandma makes it more manageable.

I recently went through boxes with my mom of my grandparent’s things. Most of it are lessons and sermon notes my grandma wrote. I have since made copies of those and are using them to be included in my book. Now I really feel I am writing this WITH Grandma!

Grandma and Grandpa, I love you and miss you everyday. I look forward to the day we are reunited in the presence of God. I cannot wait to hug you again and dance with you and sit and chat with you. Until that day comes, I am living my life for Jesus.

With great love from your granddaughter,

Nikki

THANKFUL FOR GOD’S GRACE……… PERIOD.

In pondering what should be written for you today, I have come to the conclusion that my mind is cluttered with the needs of the gift shop that I manage here in this retirement village, and all the music that needs to be practiced and memorized.   Whoa….has my precious time with God been pushed aside because of “busyness”? Forgive me Lord.  I am so thankful, not just at this season of thankfulness, but every moment of every day for Your unfailing Grace!

What better gift of life words could I give you than the words from the Book of Life? So glean strength from these words of encouragement.

Romans 5   We have been made right with God because of our faith. So we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through our faith, Christ has brought us into that blessing of God’s grace that we know enjoy.  And we are happy because of the hope we have of sharing God’s glory.  And we also have joy with our troubles because we know that these troubles produce patience.  And patience produces character, and character produces hope.  And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts  God gave us His love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us.

Christ died for us while we were yet sinners and weak.  We were living against God, but at the right time, Christ died for us.  Very few people will die to save the life of someone else.  But Christ died for us while we were still sinners.  In this way God shows His great love for us.

Sin came into this world because of what one man (Adam) did.  And with sin came death.  And this is why all men must die …. because one man sinned against God.  But there is a great difference between Adam’s sin and God’s gracious gift.  For the sin of this one man brought death to many.  But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and His gift of forgiveness to many through this other man, Jesus Christ.  And the result of God’s gracious gift is very different from the result of that one man’s sin.  For Adam’s sin led to condemnation, but God’s free gift leads to our being made right with God, even though we are guilty of many sins.  But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and His gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.

Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone.  Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners.  But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous.

God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were.  But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.  So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

PERIOD

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There is Hope in Our Mourning, Part 2

Last month I shared about our hope in knowing we will see my brother again when we get to heaven. This month, I find myself being reminded that when unexpected tragedy strikes, that hope is still alive to carry us through. This time, though, the news is still so very fresh.

Just over a week ago, a family gathered for worship in their little country church in Texas. It was a small church very much like where I grew up. As the associate pastor stepped up to bring the message, a gunman entered the sanctuary and hit nearly everyone inside with a bullet. Many were wounded, and 26 were killed that day – 10 victims representing 3 generations of the Holcombe family – including a baby yet to be born but already given nickname by older siblings.

My friend JoCheryl Holcombe’s brother was the one preaching that day. She lost half her family in a matter of seconds. I won’t go into the devastation – this part is within reach for us to imagine.

What I find harder to imagine is the unspeakable peace the remaining family members have been experiencing this week. Even they are astonished. But why should we be surprised? The world was praying for this family. They felt it. In fact, one family member commented to another, “did you feel it?” As they compared notes, they found that ALL of them felt a wave of peace wash over them the day after this horrible loss.

 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

There was no natural explanation for this peace. But there was a supernatural one. God promised to send the Holy Spirit as our comforter and advocate. The prayers of so many surely moved the Spirit to be present in the hearts of those who were mourning.

Memorial Crosses at Sutherland Springs Baptist Church – Photo Getty Images/Scott Olson

The intention was defeat and destruction, but this horrendous act unleashed a torrent of love and goodness. I hope and pray this family will see fruit from this story for decades to come.

Today, the Holcombe family laid to rest their 10 family members. Yes, it was gut-wrenching, but it also was a testimony to the fact that these folks who so tragically lost their lives will live on through their story. A story of hope and love, and the knowledge that they are together in heaven now, and this is not the end.

Here are a few words written by JoCheryl in a public post on Facebook – I don’t think I could be so eloquent nor gracious at such a terrible time….

we made it through this day…i’m sad, but you know…i’m also filled with bliss because of LOVE, and…i’m actually filled with so much love, and friendship and memories and the joy from being around authentic awesome people whose faith is stronger than any tragedy…so proud of my brother, who i will miss so much…but oh WOW!!!! his awesome family…and my parents who exemplify joyful living, who know how to be strong and tender, joyful and heartbroken at the same time. as the days get easier, i want to write a few stories about those who have left and the rest who are left behind…so much inspiration…

yeah, my guts were wrenched today, but there were so many people there with their arms around us holding us, the comfort far outweighed the sorrow!

i am so grateful for the thousands of people who stood in line for hours, some only to get turned away because there was no more room, i am so grateful for all the people who drove HOURS to get here from all over Texas, (some drove 10 hours, and waited in line only to get turned away at the last minute ) i am so grateful for all the people who were there that i didn’t even get to see…i am so grateful for all the professionals who took a chaotic, unprecedented, event of enormous proportions and turned it into the most amazing beautiful celebration with the most poignant creative touches.

i am grateful for friends and neighbors, who hosted the most amazingly delicious meal and country gathering that was filled with love and joy, perfection and beauty.

i am grateful for old friends and new friends, and i am grateful for love that spans a lifetime…i am grateful that we have forever!

i am grateful for all the local and county police and sheriff’s departments and DPS for keeping the press away and coordinating traffic and managing a procession that stretched from one town to the next and still kept coming.. we had no intrusions as we celebrated and mourned.

i am grateful for the streets lined with people who stopped their days, held their hands over their hearts in vigil for that long procession paying tribute to my family, for all the signs along the highway, for all the flowers along the route, for the mountains of cards, for all the hugs, gifts and expressions of love, for the beautiful memorial at the church in Sutherland Springs where my family members graduated to heaven.

this was an awful thing but it was also awesome because love is eternal and we will all be together again. may the love unleashed today be ever present in all our lives

as i reflect on this last week i can say that there is absolutely no way a person could ever imagine what it has been like, i pray nothing like this EVER happens again to anyone…it should not have even happened this time…

so, when you think of those you love and it feels like you have forever, just remember you don’t, but then again, YOU DO! make this life matter, our soul is the only thing we take with us when we are done…it’s worth tending, it’s worth making meaningful deep connections and living each moment in the fullest most meaningful way. BECAUSE everything can change in a holy instant.

i love you all, thank you for making this so much easier for my family..i feel like i have thousands of new family members.

Our hope is not in this life, but those remaining still have to live this life without 10 members of their family, and it will be so very hard. Please continue to pray for the families of those lost in the tragedy in Sutherland Springs, Texas.

More info here: Houston Chronicle Article

Click here for Financial help for the Holcombe family

 

I’m Being Pruned!

In the beginning of 2017, God told me this was going to be a year of growth and preparation. I did not know what kind of “growth and preparation” he was going to put me through. I am in the start up phase of my business so at first I pictured the growth of my business. I had dreams of what this year would look like with many clients, creating courses, and such. However, that is not the kind of growth God had for me.

This growth was more of an internal growth and preparation. Let me give you a picture. Think of plants and how they grow. If you let them grow and grow and grow without ever pruning them, they would get out of control. There is a hibiscus bush outside my front door. I get so excited when I see blooming red flowers! But then when the bush is overgrown the landscaper trims it and the flowers are gone. It’s a sad day when I come home and see the flowers have been pruned. However, when the flowers grow back they are more vibrant than ever before!

I see this as the life God has for us. He is the vine and we are the branches that continually get pruned. It hurts and it’s painful, but it’s for the best. I am in a pruning season. Pains I have avoided in the past are coming to the surface and I have a chose to either deal with them and uproot them, or to avoid them. Avoiding has not done me any good so I am choosing to deal with them. And let me tell you, it is not easy. I have been seeking outside help, which has been hard but so good at the same time.

I encourage you to look at the areas of your life that need pruning. We cannot be all God has called us to be if you do not deal with our pains, and our struggles, and our sins. We are not perfect which is why we go through these seasons of pruning. Let me tell you, even when you feel as though you are in the thick of it, God will never leave you. He has told me over and over that he is never leaving me and let me tell you, I have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit even in my darkest moments. Trust the process and let God do the work he needs to in you. He will NEVER leave you.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8