Broken.

God has a way of breaking you down in unexpected ways.

A few months ago I prayed for more intimacy with God and little did I know I would be stepping into one of the hardest seasons of my life.

I went into a downward spiral. I was exhausted all the time, did not feel like myself, I was unable to give to others what they needed, it was hard for me to pray for others because I felt broken inside. I was depressed.

Going through this was hard, but God was with me through it all. He provided a mentor for me whom poured into me, to help me identify the emotions I was feeling which I had never dealt with or allowed myself to feel before.

God wanted me to share my brokenness with other people and the more I did, the more I was released from the bondage I felt. The more I shared, the more I became relatable to others, the more vulnerable I became the more others opened up to me. I began to realize the more I shared my struggles, pain, and process, there have been many people around me going through the same thing. Crazy how God works in those ways!

I just met up for coffee with a friend who was going through a very similar season. I was able to sit and listen to her journey and encourage her. I spoke to her in a way I would have wanted to be spoken to. Because I had been there, she and I could go deeper and have deeper revelations for what God is doing in both of our lives.

It’s amazing to think we not only need God, but he created us to need each other. I can’t imagine going through all of this alone. I am thankful for my mentor, and the friends who walked with me through this struggle.

God broke me down and is building me back up to be stronger than ever before. In my weakness God is strong and HE makes me strong. And only because of Him I can sing and dance and be all who He has created me to be.

PRAISE HIM!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Cor 12:9-10

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If there is a God, why is there struggle and pain in this world?

If there is a God, why is there struggle and pain in this world?

This is a question that is asked frequently. People have a hard time wrapping their minds around the fact that if there is a so called “God” who is loving and caring why would he allow people to go through such horror and pain?

Consider this…

God gave us free will. He is not demanding us and calling out orders from heaven. Of course, yes, He does have a plan for us and wants us to live a life of love, but he does not force us to do so.

It started in the Garden of Eden. God said to Adam and Eve they could eat from any tree in the garden, except for the Tree of Knowledge. They were given choices. They were given the free will to decide which tree to eat from. When they decided to eat from the tree of knowledge, God was there but he did not force them away. He allowed them to make that decision.

In Genesis 2:16-17 it tells us, “And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.’”

The opportunity was given to them to make a decision but he also told them what would happen if they chose a certain tree.

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

“The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (The devil’s temptation to make the wrong decision)

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it (her decision). She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it (his decision).”

Genesis 3:1-6

There is evil in this world, and the evil was in the garden. The devil came as a serpent and tempted Adam and Eve. They gave into that temptation and in their own free will chose to eat from the tree of knowledge. They were given a chose. God wasn’t forcing them to choose what he wanted them to do. He stood back and allowed them to decide.

There is evil that we face now. Things happen to people that are not deserving of it. People are robbed, raped, murdered and they didn’t do anything wrong. How can God sit back and watch that happen?

It breaks God’s heart to see his children struggle, in pain, hurt. During those times of pain, what do you do? Do you search for anything to help you? Are you desperate for an answer, comfort, someone to take away the pain?

God is waiting with open arms for you to run to him. To cling to him. To cry out to him. To ask him for help. I don’t believe it’s a matter of God allowing bad things to happen because there is evil in this world, but he does wait for us to make a decision to draw near to him during those times. Following God does not mean life will be easy and nothing bad will ever happen to you, but it does bring you comfort and peace knowing the ALL POWERFUL GOD is on your side and fighting for you. He will bring the enemy down. He already has, but we as humans are tempted and create a way for the devil to get in and torment us. God never wanted that to happen, but he gives us a chose——to follow him, or to follow the ways of the evil one, the ways of the world.

What do you choose?

807a28c94045772dc0c9119335067ee6 Psalm 23:4

Altar of Incense

I struggled so long to be pleasing to Jesus
But flesh always got in the way.
The perfume of my life was often a mixture
Of sweetness and death..day by day.

As I struggled to know what it was that He wanted,
I picked my way past the cross.
Never dreaming the beauty of a life laid down there
But seeing it only as loss.

Until that blest day that God's spirit whispered
"The aroma to God would be sweet
If you would give up and cease to struggle,
And let death to self be complete."

Lord, my life I lay down on the Altar of Incense
To be consumed by your fire.
A precious sweet odour ascends ever upward,
Your will, Lord, becomes my desire.

--- Gladys Johnson